tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post6666375652012714068..comments2023-11-17T17:02:14.222-06:00Comments on One Man's Access: The Unexpectedly Inaccessible Vagina MonologuesShawn Deanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-77635755384834491202011-03-26T17:28:23.681-05:002011-03-26T17:28:23.681-05:00Thanks. It was a little hard to write and a lot ha...Thanks. It was a little hard to write and a lot harder to post it live for the world to see. But a topic rarely covered and worthwhile to share even if it did put me way out there. So I'm glad and proud that I ultimately did, and it is very cool knowing that people appreciate it, are learning something, and are using it as a resource. Made my day...Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-69399715863686002982011-03-26T10:01:12.945-05:002011-03-26T10:01:12.945-05:00Shawn, thanks for the insightful post. I'm an ...Shawn, thanks for the insightful post. I'm an OT and I think that it's often best for me to provide resources written by people "in the know" and yours is a great example. Also, thanks for being brave enough to talk about a topic that almost all people shy or uncomfortable.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05841162342431090133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-60828043146718406692011-03-10T15:10:31.474-06:002011-03-10T15:10:31.474-06:00That's very nice of you to say, thank you. And...That's very nice of you to say, thank you. And ha ha.Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-9081280775226449812011-03-10T11:18:12.352-06:002011-03-10T11:18:12.352-06:00Hi Sean,
I think this post was insightful and pow...Hi Sean,<br /><br />I think this post was insightful and powerful. Anyone taking it as anything other than your opinion/thoughts should start their own blog. I do not have any physical disability, but my uncle was a quad, and I think everyone should be able to read your perspective and learn something. I applaud your candidness, and your respectful responses to these commenters.<br /><br />Also, who argues with a lawyer? ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-57894794185073664982011-03-07T14:05:47.842-06:002011-03-07T14:05:47.842-06:00The Vagina Monologues performance that I saw did n...The Vagina Monologues performance that I saw did not include any content about women with disabilities or their stories, so the inclusion/disinclusion of that topic never crossed my mind. The girl that I went with claimed that the show we attended was the worst production that she'd ever seen and that they cut a bunch of stuff out. So maybe they cut that material out? I don't know any differently. But you raise a good point: if they don't include the story of women with disabilities' sexuality already then why don't they? And would I be furious if they included it? Hell no. It would have given me much more material to connect to since it touches my world. I think you've mistaken me for some kind of anti-feminist jerk--I am not.<br /><br />Regardless, how my post that very specifically covered my male insight into SCI sex and sexuality turned into a debate about women's sexuality as a whole and my "fury" over unacknowledging the story of women with disabilities in the VMs still confuses me. I never did anything near to suggest that latter didn't belong.Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-75583116814181732022011-03-07T13:28:00.681-06:002011-03-07T13:28:00.681-06:00You were writing as a MAN, first and foremost, thi...You were writing as a MAN, first and foremost, this was clear enough. No one is asking you to write "a research paper", I'm asking for you to acknowledge that the story of women with disabilities belonged in the play. But you actually seem like you would have been furious with at inclusion. Angry howled, not funny howled.<br /><br />I'm sorry you seem to have gotten the mistaken impression I'm able-bodied. You only had the one anon comment, and for some reason I thought you only allowed those. <br /><br />Hope this convinces you -- if there is one thing I can't stand it is being called abled.Irene C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/09000968524312501709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-82681852359688113102011-03-07T13:19:09.389-06:002011-03-07T13:19:09.389-06:00I am a man with a disability and therefore have ze...I am a man with a disability and therefore have zero insight into or knowledge about women with disabilities, so why would I have the audacity to even attempt to dip into that pool? So accusing me of having a lack of credibility in this post because of it is completely off base. This was a post about my specific male based thoughts, feelings, insights, and experiences with SCI sex and sexuality, not a both sides of the coin research paper on sex with disabilities in general. Had I dared to write about sex issues of women with SCI, or sexuality issues of folks with other disabilities, I would have completely lacked credibility. So I consider that unfair cryticism at the least. Also noteworthy that your lack of credibility stance is strong considering you yourself posted your comment anonymously. People that hide behind their biting comments, or claim to speak on behalf of others with disabilities when they might not have one themselves, immediately lack credibility to me.<br /> <br />The second question in your condescending second paragraph confuses me. So I guess my response is that if I chose topics on this blog that were based on if able-bodied people cared about it more than I did then I wouldn't have anything to write about. The purpose of this blog is to provide candid insight to a variety of topics vis a vis the SCI lifestyle that in some ways isn't covered elsewhere on the internet.<br /> <br />As for your mansplain comment, if that is your assessment of this post then you missed the point. I very clearly described the Vagina Monologues as a play for women. I used the play's sexual content as an application/conduit/segway to discuss SCI sexual issues from my male perspective. At no point did I mansplain or manbash the VMs. This post was about SCI sex perspective, not the VMs themselves.<br /><br />And I was thoroughly entertained and even howled at parts. But overall it made me feel sexually underwhelmed. That was the point. But thank you for reading it and posting a comment.Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-58434072260885058322011-03-07T12:34:21.823-06:002011-03-07T12:34:21.823-06:00To be honest, it would have given you more credibi...To be honest, it would have given you more credibility with the topic if there had been SOMETHING in the post about women with disabilities. If there is even a monologue about us (which is what I was searching for when I found this post) you seem like you would have howled somehow.<br /><br />Protip: sucks to be a guy with SCI in regard to sex, I'm sure, but what about a gal with SCI (or any other disability)? Do you think abled people care about our sexuality any more than they do yours (they talk about your issues more, btw)? And then you have to mansplain your experience. The play is about women. It says so right on the tin.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-14736219016684948772011-02-18T12:04:10.362-06:002011-02-18T12:04:10.362-06:00It should be pointed out that the person who left ...It should be pointed out that the person who left the comment above stepped forward and explained that the "a little strong" comment was not a reference to the subject matter of the post, as I clearly took it to mean, but something else altogether. We apologized to each other for both the misunderstanding and my somewhat biting response. Because it was a misunderstanding I felt inclined to delete both comments, but instead decided to explain the situation to save face, if you will, and leave my reply up anyway because I think it has bigger picture application, merit, and validity, and essentially became an extension of the post itself. But no hard feelings between me and the commenter and I ask that everyone treat my reply as a stand alone commentary.Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-42237837581167271462011-02-17T18:05:26.370-06:002011-02-17T18:05:26.370-06:00Well I guess that’s truly a matter of perspective ...Well I guess that’s truly a matter of perspective isn’t it? From an able-bodied perspective, if I can reasonably surmise that the anonymous commenter is able-bodied, reading about disability sex issues is sure to illicit some awkward and uncomfortable reactions because the topic is way outside the box from normal able-bodied sexual societal norms. But from my perspective, the perspective of someone who lives with a spinal cord injury, the subject matter that you refer to as “a little strong” (which comes across cynical) revolves around a very real and very serious aspect of my daily life, as well as millions of others’, and as such I have very strong thoughts, feelings, emotions, and opinions on the matter. And from what I’ve seen so far, what this post exhibits is the most open, candid, honest, and detailed discussion of the topic from the perspective of someone with SCI in the blogosphere, with the point being to offer a little enlightenment, and even some education, about those of us with SCI who have to deal with alternative sex lives and sexuality issues. It can be a struggle to say the least. It’s a topic I always planned to write about at some point and now was the most applicable time for it.<br /> <br />When I started this blog almost 2 years ago I did so knowing that I had a unique perspective to share on a variety of disability topics, specifically SCI of course, and the hope was that people would find my insight on said topics interesting and by extension that they would learn a few new things about a common but unique disability. I also told myself that I was going to be as honest, objective, etc. as possible without pulling any punches. Therefore, if this post or anything else related that I write about results in uncomfortable reactions, or opinions that it’s too strong, then I won’t apologize for it either.<br /><br />That being said, I do respect your opinion and I appreciate the fact that you took the time to give this post, which was easily the most honest and openly vulnerable thing that I’ve ever written in my life, a solid read and that it stirred some thoughts in you on the matter.<br /><br />Also noteworthy how many others have had good things to say about it and appreciate my level of honesty.Shawn Deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13296311683745278312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617612037792547841.post-39702187778857693422011-02-17T13:02:38.068-06:002011-02-17T13:02:38.068-06:00A little strongA little strongAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com